Sunday, May 25, 2008
At times I do not know what I face,
Even as I gaze at the light through the dark tunnel I know that I will eventually make it out,
The light serves as a reminder that my way will be illuminated, and guidance would never be too far away. Your light from afar awakens my deepest dreams and longings, that I once thought was dead, Your blow breathes life within me.
With reckless abandon I run after you as my shackles attempt to restrict me,
But nothing can prevent me from meeting you face to face,
Losing a limb in the pursuit of chasing after you would be a small price to pay.
For even the darkest of nights is forced to fade at the appearance of the Sun,
And every problem and hindrance is forced to bow before your might.
I am merely a finite being, lacking in capacity to even comprehend your majesty,
Reveal to me, Speak into me your thoughts,
That I may know what is right and pleasing in your eyes,
What you have entrusted to me I shall be faithful with,
What ever I face I take as refining and I know you shall bring me into completion,
The end product you have in mind would be even beyond my wildest dreams,
And I would go through all the pain and heartache again just to see it brought into completion.
Oh Teach my eyes to recognize You,
Teach my lips to glorify You,
Guide my feet so I can find You,
Wherever You are,
Be my way, I'm lost without you,
Be my light, shining through my every breath,
My every move, till every thought is You
Friday, May 09, 2008
Would it be presumptuous to say that you knew something was coming. After all, my life had been getting comfy lately. blessing after blessing, favour, grace, you name it! I've experienced it. The last blessing I received which was two days ago, I knew there would be a string attached, How did I know you ask? I didn't to be honest. But I could just feel, That with all the more that I received , oh how much more the responsibility that would be bestowed upon me. It was not a mere coincidence, that on the same day I received it, I got the phone call that evening. The more and more I look at it, It's all part of God's grand scheme of events, How one thing leads to another, almost nonchalantly , like how a wisp of smoke meanders lazily in the air not seeming to be precise in its direction but always heading towards the sky. That's what I love about God, And its his unique characteristic, no two things you seem to face in life seem connected to each other, But with constant pondering, you will eventually see where the dots connect and you will understand and come to appreciate it.
So the from the point of the call onwards, everything is still in the planning stages. Do I believe that I'm ready to lead other people? I honestly don't know, But if my spiritual leaders believe I'm ready, Then so be it. I shall submit under my authority with joy, and with anticipation of doing my utmost to bless the lives under me and to see them grow bigger and deeper in the faith. Is it going to be challenging? I shan't be naive and say it isn't. I've felt within my heart from the beginning of the year that it would be a year to rise up,move in a new direction, move in a new groove which even which is different from the rest. Am I up to the challenge? I believe I am. It will be something totally new. But hey! Rome wasn't built in a day! ;)
Friday, May 02, 2008
These next few weeks are going to be mad. As a matter of fact the madness has already begun, Exams are creeping around the corner and a solitary grimness is in the air. Assignments and presentations are soon due. And as a matter of fact, My first test is today. Having Thursday off as it was Labour Day, Wasn't much of a consolidation. With required revision of texts for the next two tests the following weeks, Our presentation due, And 3 articles that need to be drafted for the department by Wednesday, I can more less kiss my weekend and the following week goodbye!.
As Church Camp is on Sunday, I'm still trying to re-organize my timetable with my lecturers, If I were to attend I would miss out on all my lectures for the week as the camp would be held from Sunday til Tuesday. I'm taking a step of faith, regardless. That I'm believing that I can sub my classes, And the days that I missed out would not affect me in my studies. I'm believing and praying for a revolution within my life during the camp, As the first day of camp would spark the end of my 64 day full fast. Its pretty mad seeing God's grace and favour upon my life that I've been able to last for so long on his grace alone. I'm believing that I have made a difference in the spirit through this act of faith, And recently I've been feeling this unquenchable thirst for more of God till it just breaks me. I've been moving into a new phase, a new direction into something new once again. It feel as if I'm wondering in the desert, And honestly its just so frustration. But I'm walking ahead with faith that I will eventually find that elusive oasis in the middle.
How would I sum up my current life? Life's Awesome (and no that isn't an attempt at sarcasm)
I'm learning to Learning to depend on God, Learning to worship him in all circumstances, Learning to submit and to seek God even more, Learning to manage my time even more, Learning to manage stress and frustration, Learning to care for people under me spiritually, Learning how to be a watchman, Learning to love others as myself, Learning to practice grace, compassion, and mercy.(phew! long list eh?) So its pretty awesome. Though sometimes I just reach back home totally burned out. I know these are all life lessons that will define me in the future. I give thanks to God for them, I accept them with joy and thanksgiving knowing that he wont let me face anything that I cant overcome. So yeah.... Life's Awesome!
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